Road Bumps

You are the architect of your own life. Go and build it..

No matter what age you are, you’ll always encounter resistance. Sometimes this resistance comes in the form of bullies. Yes, even as adults - in this day and age, bullies are alive and well. The term bully, sounds childish when said out loud but when you encounter one, the feelings are all too real. Even if you totally believe in yourself, there can always be someone to blow the wind of self doubt into your mind.

Recently, a new friend and I had a chat about our own experiences with those who wish to tear us down. While I was telling her that I’ve experienced this many times in my life (like all of us have from time to time), what I didn’t reveal was that it had just happened to me, hours before running into my friend. Because our friendship was still new I didn’t want to burden her with my problems, especially during a social function. While I could silence my ability to talk about what had happened I couldn’t suppress how I was feeling about it. Keeping all my emotions inside while trying to smile and say ‘hello’ to numerous people was one of the most challenging things I’ve had to do lately. 

While I won’t go into the details of what occurred, the result of my encounter left me shaken and angry. Angry because for one moment, I was made to question myself as a person, to doubt myself and my accomplishments as a mother. Apparently having a successful career and being a great mother are mutually exclusive. I can’t even begin to tell you how angry this made me. The thing about having been through this a few times over, I can easily say ‘I don’t give a flying fuck what you think.’ The flip side, however, is that the more you hear it, you begin to believe it or at least question it. And it continually nags at you.

I let these thoughts consume me but to the point where I felt emotionally stuck and I needed to quiet my mind. So I did the next best thing - went to my phone and of course, there’s an app for that: Breathe. Honestly, both my emotional and physical well-being were shit and I just needed a voice to guide me through the slough - the cold, wet mud that was slowing me down mentally. Once you ‘check in’ with how you are emotionally and physically, the app gives you several meditation options  that are anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes long. After these sessions, the app will check in to see how you fared and keep track of your progress through the weeks and months. 

I was desperate and this app gave me that mental reset that I absolutely needed for the day. I strongly recommend meditation for many different purposes but especially to get centered and focused again on the big picture. After all, this is my life and I have to lead it!